Finally..

Dream no more..I am leaving for US for real! My flight is later at 5pm. I'm excited..scared..stressed with the short preparation..sad to leave home..all in one. My connecting flight will be in Taipei and will be waiting there for my next flight to San Francisco for 4-hours long! I welcome myself back to Taipei! Sure that 4-hours will come with a lot of reminiscing! Hehehe..

Moving out to my comfort zone is really downright scary but I'm being brave now to take the unknown! Li'l growing up comes with a li'l letting go. =)

The men that made me fall in love..

I have learned to love someone from afar. To manage to smile even if they were never aware of it..cry knowing that they wouldn't care at all if I would. Then it suddenly occurred to me that the men I liked were different from another. Having said that, I think we cannot really find our dream guy just in one person or fall in love because you have this standards that we follow but I think too that all the men I fell in love with has this kindness that I see that's why I liked them.

I wish I could say I fell in love just once..twice..or even at least just thrice but apparently, I did a dozen times already or even more.

1. Mark Ruffalo - I got the DVD copy of most of his movies but I remember falling in love with him the first time in the movie, "A Life Without Me." Since then I buy every DVD that has his name on it. May it just be a small role, I don't mind really. Then followed by "Feels Like Heaven" and "13 going on 30". I watch it endlessly whenever I get the chance. He may never be the "wow!" guy that everyone would like but I like him because he's very soft spoken and there's something in his ways too that I really love..I think that's something very natural of him on or off camera.

2. Orlando Bloom - I just recently seen him on Oprah and fell in love right away. He's seems to be a very sweet guy and has this humbleness despite the fact that he is indeed Orlando Bloom!

3. Adam Sandler - Who wouldn't love him? My personal favorite was his movie "50 First Dates"

4. Brad Pit - OF COURSE!!!

5. Luke Malby - Wow! I loved him from the movie "Prince and Me" I even wished to live in Denmark because of him. A boy that turns into a man. Hayyyy!

6. Richard Gere - Wow! I always say that if ever I'll fall in love with an older man..he should be like Richard Gere or he must be Richard Gere! Movie: "Pretty Woman" and "Run Away Bride"

7. Mathew Goode - Movie: "Chasing Liberty"

8. Keanu Reeves - OMG! Movie: "Sweet November" and "The Lakehouse"

9. Channing Tatum - Movie: "She's The Man" and "Step Up" I realized that a good dancer is also a big factor.

10. Shane West - Movie: "A walk to remember"

Of course I did have my real one. Well, we cannot always have perfectly the one we wished for but the one I had relationships with somewhat close to it when we were still into each other. They have been always right for me--it's just that they are only meant to stay for awhile. Yet to still find my 'lived happily ever after..'

Flight from MNL to SFO connecting FL

I really don't know why I find it so sad having a flight when the sun is already down. Perhaps I am really sad leaving my family and friends behind. I tried not to show my tears when I was saying my goodbyes to my mom--I will surely miss her the most. This is one of the few sacrifices I am taking because I chose to work abroad. Yes, I had a good paying job in the country but the self-fulfillment was not present. I just feel that I am bound somewhere so my mom let me go even if she feels that I don't actually have to.

I wasn't able to meet few friends anymore because it was a short notice from the company. Besides, I'll be back in a few months time for vacation. As soon as I sat down waiting for my boarding time, I sent my goodbye messages to few people that I am really close with. E called me right away and was in her high pitched. I know she feels bad that we weren't able to see each other before I go since we're the ones who always hang out together. It leads me into tears because I know I will miss her too. I just laughed when she said that she will text me the things that I should buy for her. N called too and of course he was very disappointed as well that I didn't inform him in advance. Maybe I did it in purpose too. Honestly, whenever me and my mom would travel—no one knows about it aside from the people at home of course. It's not a secret but we just feel that it's not necessary to let the world know that were going somewhere. Perhaps, my reason now is that I don't want to feel sadder being away from these people for quite a long time.

Boarding time was announced so I moved and went at the gate. I requested for a window side near the exit. I was hoping to be seated with someone nice enough not to bother me in anyway. As soon as I settled myself in my seat, I decided to grab my notepad and write about my thoughts. I just sigh and looked at the window for awhile staring blankly while everyone else is busy putting their luggage at the cabin. I suddenly went back to my senses when I felt that the one occupying the seat next to me has arrived. I glanced and in my surprise! Oh my God! He has all the rights in this world to bother me! I can't help not to smile at him a little--I just hope I really managed to just give a little. He nodded and gave a nice smile too and I really flushed a bit. He's so gorgeous! God sent for me not to feel lonely leaving the Philippines.

The plane finally takes off. I was in the clouds! Literally and figuratively! Then finally he said "Hi" to me! I would want to say now that the rest is history but NO! I have to share here how everything went. We talked and I learned that he's half Brit and half American who lives in SFO. I thought right away that he coud be gay but I have high-hopes too that he is not. He was here in Manila because of work…he's said he is the managing director of one of the call centers here. I just listened to him and tried to absorb everything that he says because I am still a little mesmerized. After we ate our dinner, I already felt at ease. He was very kind. Don't laugh! I said that because he asked me if I need more water so he could ask the stewardess. Wow! We talked and talked and he laughed at me most of the time. We talk about anything goes and I already felt that I have known him for such a long time. I know that's a very hopeless romantic to say. So stop!

When we realized that everyone else was already sleeping we decided to lower our voice and I asked him that we need to sleep too even if I actually still wanted to talk to him more. I got my ipod and I asked if he wanted to share. He has his own too but yes, he wanted to listen to my music preferences. I knew he would like my compilation. I actually couldn't sleep yet but I already closed my eyes and recline my seat. He too prepared himself to sleep but we still say things even after we already said our goodnight to each other. Then silence surrounded us. I thought about home again. I couldn't sleep. It's been two hours had passed that I'm pretending asleep when suddenly he moved and fix my blanket. My heart beats so fast because that was so sweet!

Pooof!

I heard my nephew was crying so hard. IT WAS ALL JUST A DREAM! I grabbed my pillow and hugged it tightly and sighed deeply. I even forgot about his name but who cares right? It was just a damn dream!!! I am still in the Philippines and I still have time to spend it with mom. Well..that's a nice thought anyway. Hayyyy...