Quick Look To My 2004

Time runs so fast and now we are about to end another year to begin a new one. A lot of things happened in my life for the past 355 days. And I still have 10 more days to go to welcome year 2005. Allow me to reminisce the major events happened in my life that made a mark to my totality. Things which I may have grown out already or may not. I want to share how my life turned out to be and how my choices affect me and the moment I am living right now.

I started 2004 with pains in my heart. I just ended a relationship that I thought would be forever. I’ve been with a man whom I thought the answer to all of my prayers. I used to do things with Marlon and it’s so hard to learn again doing things on my own.

February I am still trying to learn the art of letting go. My friends and family didn’t fail me. I have appreciated more the people around and felt how they really care. Carlo always make sure to keep me company, Ben tried to give back my smile through his songs, Edgar comforted me with his shoulders, Alex brings out the best in me, and Esay, Dice, plus Yel who never gets tired to listen in my everyday dramas. This was the month when I started to see the beauty of my life without the person who locked me up to the world that full of illusions.

Karen after the tough times happened in March. I realized that I may have lost one love but have gained ten times more. Pains made me stronger and brought back my old but better self. These were the days when Carlo would pick us up from Bellevue at 11:30 p.m. after our shift and drive to Tagaytay at midnight with Esay and Ben. This were the days that we always go out at night and work the next day without enough sleep but still feeling happy.

April 2004 was the happiest birthday I ever had. I spent it with family and Bellevue friends.

The month of May was when I found love again. I opt not to write the name of the person involved because this person was my sweetest mistake. It was a right love but at the wrong time. It was when I learned to love unconditionally and risk my heart again. This was the month when the greatest change in my life happened--To my love life and career wise.

June was like the time I really stood up again and started to pick up the broken pieces of my being.

The Best of July—I rode an airplane and flew for the greatest story ever told.

August I begun to feel agony with my chosen career.

September was letting go of the person who I had the best of July with. Just a boy, just an ordinary boy .

October was when I brought back my self-worth. It was also an emotional crisis month for our family. It made me stronger.

November was when my special stranger came into my life and begun to smile again.

December was my sister’s wedding.

Time changed me as a person. Anger maybe part of everything but at the end of the day--I still need love. I have made some choices but no one could ever tell if it was right or wrong but only me. My life may not be perfect--it will never be! It was at least good to know where to start fixing it. I may have stumbled couple of times and learning life the hard way but I'm glad I still have reasons to smile and was so sure that I am just living my life fully.