What Do I Really Want For Myself?

Time runs so fast that again it’s just another Sunday for me. Today I was able to relax and think nothing. At this moment I am planning for tomorrow’s work. I don’t know how to start planning it because I am no longer interested with it. I mean, come what may! I go out and go anywhere. Drive and enjoy the ride like I started to do for a month now but at the end of the day it’s sad when I think that my work has no directions anymore—my life either.

I looked at myself for hours thinking. “What do I really want for myself?” I asked. It seems so easy to answer but it’s not. I wish I am just a kid who can easily answer toys, candies, or ice cream—but it’s not anymore my needs now. I belong in a big world now and I have to be responsible enough with the choices I make. I have dreams but not really big for now because I know after this dream I will never be contented and I’ll have a new one. That’s why I prefer to have simple wishes first because I know it will become bigger than what I thought. What do I really want for myself now?

I decided to write twenty things achievable or not in a scratch paper which my original plan was just ten. It’s really hard but I wrote down even the smallest dream that I wanted for my life now. I classify them into three types: Important Goals, Achievable Dreams, and Desperate Goals.

As I ended up with my list I suddenly realized that I am really losing my track. My career path isn’t the one I dreamed at all that’s why I am burned out. It eats my entire life now because everything is connected with each other. Tomorrow, I know I can never change everything right away in 360 degree turn but atleast I know where to start fixing my life.